My first encounter with meditation was as a ten year old. We were a group of girls in a dormitory at golf camp still awake and restless at 2 am with a big day of golf looming early the next morning. Our senior guide took matters into hand in the most surprising way – she taught us a full body gradual relaxation method where we would focus all of our attention on sinking one body part at a time, working our way from the tips of our toes to the top of our head. We would try to imagine the muscles of each body part becoming smooth and sinking into the bed, and then work our way up to the next part. 

To my surprise, it actually worked. We all fell asleep quite easily. But the remarkable thing to me was that my brain, focus and thoughts actually created a change in my body. Revolutionary. It was the first time I had experienced a connection between the body and the mind. 

Previous to that, whilst I had been inside buddhist temples as part of primary school’s religious curriculum, I was separated, distant, learning about something that ‘other people’ did – not understanding or comprehending the point of their endeavours and pursuits. 

But after the pleasant relaxation experience at camp, my skeptical beliefs had been challenged – and such commenced the start of my curiosity on mediation. Its seems ridiculous to me now that as a 27 year old I am much more open to life and learning about new things than I was as a child. But of course, now I understand why that is. It is because as a child I did not think for myself; I was learning appropriate reactions to stimulus from examples around me, and within my society and environment I learned to be skeptical, to be distrustful of information presented outside of mainstream education and to be wary of people who were different to what was considered normal. 

I have been on a long journey since then, firstly understanding and then a conscious selective unlearning of much of the framing taught during those early years. The travelling helped a lot. It helped me to see that there is no ‘normal’. Travelling allowed me the insight that people are basically the same no matter where they are. With the same struggles, the same temptations, the same moral desires; the same nature but just expressed in different settings – admittedly some more extreme than others. 

I am curious by nature. I love learning. I want to know the reasons why. I need to understand the reasons behind the reasons. I ask lots of questions, and I am not shy. Those traits of mine are not always a good thing, and it can be unpleasant when people are just trying to chill and this super enthusiastic girl wants to pick apart their brain and get deep with them (just as in this picture I was getting deep in the lake in Pucon, Chile). I am learning to turn down my curiosity at times to settle into, enjoy the moment and not disturb others. But most of the time, I am exploring, I am thinking, discovering and reasoning, and then testing my theories out loud and receiving feedback. Each new person describing their own version of reality, and one more data point for my human – scientific – perception analysis. The topics of interest change all the time, one leading to a stimulus which leads to yet another, usually not apparent immediately but in the end are all intertwined. There are links between everything, but the most fascinating ones that I have been exploring recently are the linkages between the inside world and the physical world. Coming from a scientific background, I have some understanding (or can find reputable information) on how things work in the physical world. But more and more I have been following Alice down the rabbit hole, ever deeper, to discover, test and explore the connections between our physical experience and our mental experience. It’s a bewildering journey, one road I am glad to be walking. But I want to pose the question. Why are we not taught this at school? It’s true that I needed so much time and to be free from distraction and obligation to do justice to this exploration, but to be exposed to it at school would have been very helpful. 

Currently, the road has led me to daily mediation and yoga, in order to strengthen and discipline my body and mind. I am healing my sleeping problems with relaxation, and by recognising and changing self talk. I am exploring my subconscious through dream analysis and reading neuroscience. I am learning to understand the quiet signs in which my body communicates to me the requests for proper sustenance, and to practice being fully conscious instead of reacting – as much as possible. 

Next, I am looking into mindful focused meditation for healing, breathing exercises and the Wim Hoff method. I am sure I’ll go full circle many times, gauging more and more of the point, each time. 

It strikes me that many of the sayings are true – I’ve seen them all before a million times. But only now am I grasping the depth of their meaning.