Curve ball
….the purple sunset in Chicago with the late afternoon traffic reminded me of days gone past where I would spend my time in the big city wishing my days away…..
The ball curved, for nearly a year, and now it has come back around.
This is just one example of why the best things in life come to you spontaneously (through living your most expressed, authentic life), without you having to force it.
I am laughing under my breath incredulously as I am writing this. I was actually in the middle of doing something else and has to pause and write this post. Ok maybe thats not so strange, as someone with ADHD, being distracted and moving onto something else is my ‘normal’ working style.
So I was going through my notes, inspiration and ideas that I have written down over the space of the last year whilst living in Switzerland, in an attempt to organise, condense and compile them (so that I can actually use them!) and I came across one note written in November, 2016.
“Best idea yet! Move to Manly, work three days per week (as an engineer), buy a laptop, rent a room, buy outfits, camera equipment etc and claim it back on tax and have an badass artistic life making posters and taking photos, blog posts, make sure we aren’t rushing past too fast to notice the beauty”
So many things about this are funny to me! One year ago, I saw many barriers to me living my life the way that I wanted to. My perception was that I would need a stable place of residence to live out this dream. My perception was that I would not be able to afford it unless I had an engineering job for three days per week, and that I would only be able to buy the equipment if I could claim it back on tax.
One year later, sitting where I am, I am laughing because – oh what a restrictive way to view the world! And I had so much more money back then to support myself, and now that I have way less it still isn’t a factor to hold me back. I am so grateful that I am sitting here on the other side, and the realisation is literally only just NOW sinking in that I have grown so much, and I have become free from those chains. It was only me holding myself back.
So, what really happened in that year to get me here? Gosh I feel like such a badass right now haha. As Tony Robbins succinctly phrased it:
“Some people see what they want, and are willing to go and get it, others only see what is standing in the way of what they want”
Somehow, effortlessly, within the last year, the way I have lived my life has changed my mindset – a paradigm change (which I learnt about in 7 Habits of highly successful people) – significantly enough that I didn’t even consciously have to go and target this goal. I fell into my own dream life as effortlessly as Alice went down the rabbit-hole.
Now as I analyse it, there are some things which I believe led me to this place.
I moved to Switzerland and gave myself the required time and space to reflect. I didn’t spend every free moment socialising with my new friends, I didn’t work very much. I basically had all the time in the world to explore and develop myself, without the pressure, structure or confines to ‘do’ anything. All that existed was a desire to know myself better. And I got distracted from that path multiple times, I fell down, fell into the ‘wrong’ habits, wrong circles of people who didn’t care about me and casual jobs that weren’t good for me. And it was hard, and painful. But over time I recognised the problems and why they were caused, added more information to my understanding of myself, picked myself up, brushed myself off and tried again. I tried to be healthy, tried to uncover more layers, tried to develop to be ok with what I saw underneath.
And after about 5 months of absolutely spectacularly failing at life (but learning so much through it, and growing my self respect through all the experiences that I lived through), I was ready to follow my dream. I decided to dedicate myself wholeheartedly (I always give 100% to whatever I am consumed by at any particular time) to becoming a white water raft guide and canyoning guide!
Becoming a guide transformed me. It was the first time in my life that I had worked so hard to be able to do something that I would absolutely love doing as an occupation. It was the first time in my life that I had to push through the absolute self doubt (in that I was sure I would fail to become a raft guide – I wasn’t naturally good at it) but succeeded anyway. It was the first time that excuses were not an option. The work itself was also transformational. It is such a privilege to be able to touch people’s lives to help them push through their own personal barriers and jump off that 10 m waterfall even though they are scared. Or go swimming in white water though they think they might drown. We are able to give people a reclamation of their own personal power. And they come out the other side after having the time of their lives and they thank us. They love nature and their own place in it just a little bit more. They are ready to explore in more than one sense of the word. It is so beautiful to be involved in that process.
So I guess a combination of that process, and also the fact that I left my successful engineering job and comfortable affluent life in the city and I felt like finally it all made sense and the risk was worth it (link to that story here), were the factors to me making that paradigm change in mindset.
I learnt that societies’ definition of success and fulfilment wasn’t my own. I learnt that no external circumstances are stronger than my ability to live out a fully expressed and authentic life.
Now I am in a position, where I have just bought an amazing, full frame mirrorless camera Sony a7, and an underwater housing. I have just started my blog. And I am heading into the Amazon rainforest to learn how to white water kayak, to go deep into the jungle with a local guide (a friendship made in Switzerland), and I get to share all my adventures, photos and videos here with all of you! I am so excited!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3<3 <3 <3 <3
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